Defining Life

Last week I was sitting across from my nail tech (check her out, @nailzbynisey) and I was on the phone with a friend. She was telling my about her son who is acting out. And the week before, I sat in that same chair listening to my cousin who was having trouble with her teenage daughter who had been acting out. Nisey looked at me and said, “So are you the child whisperer?” I laughed. Apparently, there’s some truth to her words. After thinking about it, I’ve been having several conversations about children and their relationship with their parents. Specifically, with their mothers. Here’s why. Several years ago, a couple weeks before my 23 rd birthday, my mother and I got into the biggest fight of my life. Mind you, I was always a pretty quiet and respectful child. I did whatever my mother asked and when she asked. Then I got grown. Or at least I thought I was. I had a car, a car note, a pretty decent job for someone my age and I didn’t have a single bill to pay. Yet, I have NO ...

           I attended one of the most amazing bible colleges money could pay for. I have a very expensive degree in biblical education that I only use to debate with my friends who also attended bible college and for my personal studies. Every now and then I feel the bible geek in me creep into random conversations and most are stunned. Like the day a close friend of mine texted saying she heard an elderly woman say, “God don’t bless mess.” It was a group chat and everyone laughed. I mean, it was funny. But then I went on a rant…             “I really despise sayings like that. That’s not even biblically sound because I mean, who isn’t a mess. And who are you to tell me that God won’t bless me because I am broken. This is why people don’t go to church or trust in the Lord. Because of dumb sayings like that. I am a mess and somehow I keep waking up with breath in my lungs. That’s a blessing.” ...

When I think about my childhood, I realize that I grew up in the silence. There was always something going on around me. Parents arguing, family fussing; you know the assumed amount of disfunction. So I made it a point to live beneath the noise. I found peace within myself. I made myself shy and I only talked to my imaginary friend. Yes. I had an imaginary friend. Let my mother tell it, she was concerned for my well-being. She sought counsel for my state of mind. She was informed that I was normal and just going through a phase.  Her name was Grace. And to add to the insanity occuring in my household, Grace had a seat at the dinner table nightly. I remember my stepfather coming home and sitting in her seat. I let out a cry and explained that he had squished her. While my mother cringed, my stepfather politely apologized and chose another chair. Another time, my mom had fallen asleep watching tv and I must have been bored because I caused a huge scene. I ran out into the l...

“And that is what we are here to celebrate today. A love that endures. Blessed are those that bend but never break. May your love continue to endure and may you always like each other.” I had the pleasure of speaking at my brother’s vowel renewal this past weekend in Jamaica. It was probably one of the most beautiful moments in my life. I’ve been to plenty of weddings and I have watched love flourish amongst many friends but this moment was close to home. I’ll explain why. “As I was wondering about what I would say today I was reminded that I had been preparing for this moment since Emanuel got sick all those years ago. I remember watching you stand at his side, not sure what was going to happen.” I’ve always loved my brother. We didn’t grow up together and are far apart in age, but he made sure to stay in my life. Then he created a beautiful family of his own with his wife who I am too close too to ever consider her an in law. They’ve raised two beautiful boys that for ...