Defining Life

In the last two weeks I have been challenged to modify my attire. As I venture on this new journey in life which has me spending a lot of my time with young girls, I have a new responsibility. It’s no longer just about me about what I want to wear. Actually, nothing that I do now is about me. It’s about glorifying God. So….modesty…. Listen, I am so over this argument that modesty is for women only! It’s partially why I rebelled against being modest. It wasn’t until I was recently confronted by a friend on why I felt "showing a little extra skin made me more attractive" that I started to question the truth about modesty. After reading articles and looking up passages I finally asked one of my best friends, who happens to be on my list of the top 3 smartest people I know. Modesty is about not intentionally drawing attention to yourself. That spoke numbers to me. It was simple. It was easy. She made other interesting comments but this was all I needed. It wasn't j...

In the last month the most important thing I have learned is, “honesty is the best policy.” Sure, we are all taught this as children but do we really know what that means? Because I am famous for someone asking if I’m okay and saying yes even if I feel like a train wreck. However, there is an easier route. Example: Friend: Hey Shawntika. Are you okay? You look like something is bothering you. Me: I’m not okay but I’ll be fine. EASY! But no. I normally go the other route. I hold it in hoping that no one will notice but for some reason, expecting that everyone will know. Yea. Like I said. Train wreck. Fortunately, this last month I was challenged to be “rigorously honest” with myself and those around me. Now, there is a thin line between honesty and telling all of your business. I refuse to succumb to the latter. Yet being honest has liberated me. It's also been hard. I have begun to share parts of myself with those closest to me which has left me completely e...

“Love is wanting the absolute best for someone even if it doesn't benefit you.” -Shawntika White For most of my life I have been surrounded by hurting people. I mean, truly bitter people. People who have been so hurt that they've only been capable of hurting others. Somewhere along the line I became a mirror of them. I've never been in any type of relationship with anyone that was generally and genuinely happy. That is until recently. I’m not sure what changed but somewhere along the line God began placing joyful people around me and I began to want what they had. So I did research. I read books, took notes, and finally sat down to put it all together in as few words as possible. I've allowed my experience to overshadow God’s purpose for humanity. We were created with fellowship in mind. Fellowship with God and with one another. The hurt and pain that others had inflicted on me caused me to interpret love negatively. Well, my interpretation was filled with ...

“Either be angry for what you don’t have, or thankful for what you do have.” -Nick Vujicic I woke up today complaining! It was terrible. I was crying while I was getting dressed and even while driving to work. I had some great things to complain about too. My parents are being...normal, I've had two friends basically cut me off in one week, and I've been sick for weeks. As I’m scrolling through my Facebook timeline I see a video from Oprah’s “Life Class.” Nick Vujicic , born and raised in Australia with no arms or legs. All I could say was, “Wow.” He was there to represent Faith in Action . Throughout his childhood Vujicic was teased and attempted to commit suicide. Later, he read an article about a handicapped man who refused to let the hand he’d been dealt in life hold him back. So.............(the period were necessary for dramatic effect).............. ... WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?! How much more ridiculous could I get? The thing is, everything I am hurt about...

“ For millions of people, not every prison comes with a set of bars.”-R.A. Clark I had an idea about what forgiveness was. I thought it was moving on from any situation in which you’d been hurt. I was so off. One day I realized that I had a grocery list of unforgiveness. Not the week to week list; its that list that you make after not having been to the store in months because life got in the way. The refrigerator is bare. The only thing occupying it is baking soda, spoiled milk, and a stick of butter. When I looked around, the bare refrigerator paralleled my soul and when I looked at the long list, instead of food items being written there, I saw names. The offenses next to the names had at least 3 sub points. I was keeping score of every time I was hurt by each person. Interestingly enough, the record wasn't destroying the offenders, it was poisoning me . Something had to change. Transformation was necessary to my survival. I started asking questions to those tha...

When I was 16 years old, like most sixteen year olds, I was ready to drive. My permit was my top goal of the year. My best friend had just gotten hers, and she and I were always keeping each other on our toes. So I, like most teenagers, scanned the manual and headed out to take the test. I failed. TWICE. After the second failed attempt, I cried all the way back to the car, and all the way to the car my mother yelled. She was tired of me. She told me that she wouldn’t bring me back until I studied. I yelled back, “I did!” And in front of my best friend, my mother told me about myself. “You think you know everything. So many things in life came easy for you, so you’ve gotten lazy. Well Shawntika, you do not know the laws of the road so the only way you will pass the test is if you study. You have too much pride. You’re so puffed up and if you don’t humble yourself soon, God is going to deal with you.” She was right. My mother would give me anything I asked for. And I was smart....