Defining Life

When I think about my childhood, I realize that I grew up in the silence. There was always something going on around me. Parents arguing, family fussing; you know the assumed amount of disfunction. So I made it a point to live beneath the noise. I found peace within myself. I made myself shy and I only talked to my imaginary friend. Yes. I had an imaginary friend. Let my mother tell it, she was concerned for my well-being. She sought counsel for my state of mind. She was informed that I was normal and just going through a phase.  Her name was Grace. And to add to the insanity occuring in my household, Grace had a seat at the dinner table nightly. I remember my stepfather coming home and sitting in her seat. I let out a cry and explained that he had squished her. While my mother cringed, my stepfather politely apologized and chose another chair. Another time, my mom had fallen asleep watching tv and I must have been bored because I caused a huge scene. I ran out into the l...

“And that is what we are here to celebrate today. A love that endures. Blessed are those that bend but never break. May your love continue to endure and may you always like each other.” I had the pleasure of speaking at my brother’s vowel renewal this past weekend in Jamaica. It was probably one of the most beautiful moments in my life. I’ve been to plenty of weddings and I have watched love flourish amongst many friends but this moment was close to home. I’ll explain why. “As I was wondering about what I would say today I was reminded that I had been preparing for this moment since Emanuel got sick all those years ago. I remember watching you stand at his side, not sure what was going to happen.” I’ve always loved my brother. We didn’t grow up together and are far apart in age, but he made sure to stay in my life. Then he created a beautiful family of his own with his wife who I am too close too to ever consider her an in law. They’ve raised two beautiful boys that for ...

“Y ou used to share everything. There wasn’t a crevice of her life you weren’t privy to, and the same went for yours.”…” One day it changed. The once welcomed sarcasm became annoying. ” As I was driving home last night a friend sent me the most eye-opening blog pos t I’ve ever read in my life. It was as if it was tailored to me. While she was sending it to me in reference to her life, I sat quietly in my car “amening” every sentence. Disclaimer: I did not read it while I was driving. Please do not text and drive. Anyway, I have no clue who published this but whomever he or she may be, they spoke to my spirit in this piece. Please bear with me while I relate.   “In the absence of a judge or jury we approach the dissolution of friendships with complete finality. There is no room for error or growth. We grew into big girls who still managed to treat our girls and the emotions they invoke, like little girls.” In my personal experience, and I’ll be completely transparent, I...

I’ve had the distinct pleasure of growing up in a family full of COMPLETELY INSANE WOMEN. Yea. I mean, I love them. They’ve made life an interesting rollercoaster ride. Now that I am older, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I have learned the art of expression. They’ve also shown me how to laugh at things too soon. Out of my entire family, I was always “too soft.” I cried at the drop of a hat. In fact, my cousins use to have me ask my mom to take us to 7-11 and when my mom firmly declined they whisper to me that I should cry so she would say yes. She always did. My family has fought with words and fists. Some have gone years without speaking and some talk every day. Like my cousin Unique, who lived a parallel life to mine. We are best friends. However, she’s crazy and we all know it. Or my cousin Monique who used to comb my hair with a toothbrush. I’m not sure if it was used or not. There’s my aunt who buys a new bed every other month and tells use she’s just living her life...