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Wilt thou be made whole?

Exodus 20:12
Honour thy father and thy mother:
that thy days may be long upon the land
which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
I've struggled with this verse all my life. Not that my parents were not worthy of being honored, but if they were not being honorable, how is it that my days would be shortened? How can their transgressions against me, fall on me? Why would God be so unfair? And of course, if you know me, you know that my parents were not always honorable. They did me wrong. They hurt me. They neglected me and provoked me. Still, knowing this verse, I rolled my eyes at the thought of honoring them. I basically said, “SHORTEN MY DAYS LORD! I CAN’T RESPECT THEM.” And I didn't. I spoke to them however I chose and every chance I had, I told someone how terrible they were. Yet, I loved them. I love them.

I came to a point where I felt that no one could truly understand what my parents had put me through. Then I thought...at least my parent didn't send me to the cross to die for some unworthy 25 year old woman who, in light of the cross, still can’t chose to honor her parents!

But how? How can I love the people that were to love me the most yet hurt me instead? And just this past week as I walked in my apartment and started settling down Jesus clear as day said to me, “Wilt thou be made whole?” The reference reads:
When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole? (John 5:6)
I, just like many of you, and the man at the pool, have been broken and trying to be made whole for a long time. You see, God knew that my broken mother and broken father would conceive a broken child. And then my broken father would chose another life over his broken child. And my broken mother would love my broken step father who would love a broken child. Then he would leave a broken woman and broken preteen to figure life out alone. And my broken mother would check out in more ways than one and leave her broken teenager who would soon grow into a broken woman. And in all of that brokenness I would start searching for ONE opportunity to be made WHOLE. So you see, all this time I have been searching for a way to explain to God that Exodus 20:12 is unfair and all he wanted was to show me HOW to live by it.

Moral to the story? Brokenness will always be brokenness until God makes it whole. But the wholeness, after being broken for so long HAS to be something you want. With the man’s healing, God gave him instruction. You see, he had to be ready to be whole It came with expectations.

I honor my parents for loving me the only way they knew how and for as long as they could. In this moment I love them for loving me the best that they knew how, and that is by God’s grace.

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