Skip to main content

Wilt thou be made whole?

Exodus 20:12
Honour thy father and thy mother:
that thy days may be long upon the land
which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
I've struggled with this verse all my life. Not that my parents were not worthy of being honored, but if they were not being honorable, how is it that my days would be shortened? How can their transgressions against me, fall on me? Why would God be so unfair? And of course, if you know me, you know that my parents were not always honorable. They did me wrong. They hurt me. They neglected me and provoked me. Still, knowing this verse, I rolled my eyes at the thought of honoring them. I basically said, “SHORTEN MY DAYS LORD! I CAN’T RESPECT THEM.” And I didn't. I spoke to them however I chose and every chance I had, I told someone how terrible they were. Yet, I loved them. I love them.

I came to a point where I felt that no one could truly understand what my parents had put me through. Then I thought...at least my parent didn't send me to the cross to die for some unworthy 25 year old woman who, in light of the cross, still can’t chose to honor her parents!

But how? How can I love the people that were to love me the most yet hurt me instead? And just this past week as I walked in my apartment and started settling down Jesus clear as day said to me, “Wilt thou be made whole?” The reference reads:
When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole? (John 5:6)
I, just like many of you, and the man at the pool, have been broken and trying to be made whole for a long time. You see, God knew that my broken mother and broken father would conceive a broken child. And then my broken father would chose another life over his broken child. And my broken mother would love my broken step father who would love a broken child. Then he would leave a broken woman and broken preteen to figure life out alone. And my broken mother would check out in more ways than one and leave her broken teenager who would soon grow into a broken woman. And in all of that brokenness I would start searching for ONE opportunity to be made WHOLE. So you see, all this time I have been searching for a way to explain to God that Exodus 20:12 is unfair and all he wanted was to show me HOW to live by it.

Moral to the story? Brokenness will always be brokenness until God makes it whole. But the wholeness, after being broken for so long HAS to be something you want. With the man’s healing, God gave him instruction. You see, he had to be ready to be whole It came with expectations.

I honor my parents for loving me the only way they knew how and for as long as they could. In this moment I love them for loving me the best that they knew how, and that is by God’s grace.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What will you do when what you've prayed for is staring you in the face?

“God ordered your steps. All you have to do is take a step.” Let me tell you about this one time that I got real comfortable and almost passed up on what I had been praying for. So here I am, finally finished with my undergrad after being tossed around for almost two years after my expected graduation date. Ok, maybe it wasn’t all to blame on the school. Some of it was my fault. My laziness. My comfort. My complacency. OK...more than some. Most. But anyway, thats not important. here’s what is… Aramark at Catholic University has been a HUGE blessing in my life. When my school closed back in 2012 I got a part time job at Payless and months later, that store closed as well. I had worked for Aramark throughout high school and my first semester in college. When Payless shut it’s doors, Aramark opened theirs. They actually created a position for me. Yes. A blessing from God. Plus, CUA is home for me. I had no issue transitioning. But at the same time, this was a job. No my career...
5 comments
Read more

Love or Career?

“I met this boy when I was six years old and what I loved most he had so much soul…” So, I know Common was talking about Hip Hop, but this is my real life! I met… John (we’ll call him John) at… (John Elementary) when I was six. He was everything to me. He had pcurly hair and a beautiful smile. His skin was a soft caramel color and he played basketball. How could I not love him? I mean, I knew in that moment that we were going to be together forever. I told all my friends that he was mine. Knowing my mom was not having it, I still pretended. But I was a geek. I mean, like glasses, buck teeth, awkward dressing, horrible hair, and a weird shape. He didn’t love me back then. Well…apparently, awkward girls grow up to be pretty girls . With locs down my back, a crooked smile and full lips, and still rocking glasses, I ran into that boy…now man…and he all but chased me through the church. I have never felt more pursued in my entire adult life. It just so happens that the moment...
4 comments
Read more

My Double Life

“You can’t fight to stay the same and be dedicated to becoming better.” -Sarah Jakes Roberts I’ve been on a journey of complete and utter transformation. Or at least I thought I was. I’ve wanted to change for a really long time. I knew that my life wasn’t great. I was making bad decisions and ruining every good thing. I’ve been destructive. Nevertheless, I’ve wanted to change. Here’s the problem, I’ve also been fighting to stay the same. Have you ever felt like you had two people inside of you? I know we all have seen the visual of the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. It’s usually comical. But have you ever felt the severity of that same fight but only its inside of you? For so long I couldn’t articulate the struggle that’s been happening in my life. But today its clear. Shadowboxing. I’ve been shadowboxing . I’ve been living under my own rules and I’ve been “solely” dedicated to living God’s word. Am I completely psycho? I have to be. I’ve been deceiving my...
2 comments
Read more