Dear You,
I know the last two years have been a journey for you. It was like every time you got it together, life sat another mountain in your path. I've stood by your side as you lost friends that promised to stand by you. You cried on my shoulder wondering what was wrong with you and what you could've done to deserve so much pain. But I watched you triumphantly overcome in spite of. You may not see your strength now, but I witnessed you live through things that I would have cowered at. You're a survivor. How can you not see that? How can you let people turn what God has given you into a burden? You're a good person. You show up. You take care of those you love. How dare you ever let anyone turn your heart cold.
I know it gets hard and I know you feel worn out. So rest as needed and keep going... even when you can’t. Wake up everyday and smile. Even if you slept in your tears, push though. Never give up on you. Fight for you. You fight for everyone else, why don’t you deserve your own protection? Stop giving everything you have away. Save a little for you. Take care of you.
I hope that you see that I am here for you. I am loving you with everything in me. I’ve held onto your dreams and kept them sacred. So that when you come out of this season, they’ll still be there, waiting, for you. And I know you locked away your smile and laughter but I remember it so clearly. I can’t wait for the day when you show it off again. The world will be better with it.
I want you to know that I pray for you daily. I pray for you heart. I know its fragile. So fragile that you haven’t shown it to anyone lately. Fearful that someone will see how truly broken you are and use it against you, you've shut the world out. You, have become cold and comfortable living in pain. For that, I am sorry. I mean, I know that people have been careless with your heart but you have been careless with it as well. Yet in the spirit, I can see God mending it piece by piece. And then you stop the progress and choose to stay broken. Why? Are you afraid that once healed you'll only be broken again? I beg of you, stop trying to glue it back together. Let Him make you over.
I know you’re going to be fine. You’re going to be better than you ever imagined. Fortitude. It’s embedded in you. How do I know this you ask? I am you, just a little closer to being healed and whole. I sleep better. I dream bigger. I love a little more than before. I enjoy being happy. I love telling jokes. Please, don't take this from me. I love you Shawntika Renee. I love everything about you. If no one else does...I do. Together we can set the world on fire. Just don't abort the process.
Yours Truly,
Shawntika Renee
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