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Catch Me in 2015

Man. I struggled in 2014. And I’m not sure what happened. When the year started off, I was on a roll. I was knocking down goal after goal. Smiling every single day and moving mountains with a mustard seed of faith. But by the end of the year I was barely making it. There were days where all I was doing was waking up and remembering to breathe. No way to live. But it was the only way I could live.
Have you ever experienced anything like that? Where it just seemed like all you were doing was making it to the next moment by the skin of your teeth. Like every night that you make it through is surprising. That was me in November.


November was like the month from hell. Like satan literally sat in his lair and conjured up November just for me. I counted the days. I was down and couldn’t see my way out. And I wish I could share some “aha” moment with you as if one day I woke up and it was all clear. But that would be fabricated. Truthfully, December was just as bad. Surprisingly, I made it through the holidays.
No. I don’t have a “come to Jesus moment.” But what I do have is reality. I woke up this morning, yes, less that 48 hours until 2015, and I made a choice. I made a choice to trust God in and out.


No. Nothing has changed. I’m still in the very same position today as I was in November. I’m still crying through most days and if I’m not crying I’m falsely smiling.


Yes. I do still believe God for everything He has said. “Your latter will be greater… Nothing more than you can bear… All the desires of your heart… What they meant for evil… What we face here on earth is nothing in comparison to the afterlife… My Father’s house has many rooms… The wealth of the wicked is laid up… Don’t be anxious in anything… I can do ALL things…”


I am aware of who I am, what I’ve done, and I have lived at the bottom of the barrel for a long time. But it’s okay. I can see where I’m going from here. Up.

Yes. I failed in 2014. But not because I didn’t reach all of my goals or I made mistakes and hurt people I love. Not because I broke promises and destroyed everything good in sight...but because I stopped believing God and I trusted in my own abilities or lack thereof. But LISTEN...catch me in 2015...setting the world on fire!

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