Defining Life

“God doesn’t want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.” I read this article years ago. I think I was in high school. This guy goes to two classrooms. One is a lecture room at a college. He says to the freshman students, “how many of you can paint?” A few raise their hands. Then he asks, “how many of you can sing?” One raises her hand but accompanies it by saying “I’m ok. Not really that great.” Then he asks, “How many of you can act?” Another few students raise their hands but for the most part, the lecture hall filled with students was silent. So then he goes to the other classroom. This is an elementary class filled with kindergarten students. He poses the same questions and with each question almost every student raises their hand excitedly. Why am I sharing this story? Between kindergarten and college, something changed in these students. Something changes in all of us as we grow. In some ways reality sets in. No one can be good at everything. ...

Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. I've struggled with this verse all my life. Not that my parents were not worthy of being honored, but if they were not being honorable, how is it that my days would be shortened? How can their transgressions against me, fall on me? Why would God be so unfair? And of course, if you know me, you know that my parents were not always honorable. They did me wrong. They hurt me. They neglected me and provoked me. Still, knowing this verse, I rolled my eyes at the thought of honoring them. I basically said, “SHORTEN MY DAYS LORD! I CAN’T RESPECT THEM.” And I didn't. I spoke to them however I chose and every chance I had, I told someone how terrible they were. Yet, I loved them. I love them. I came to a point where I felt that no one could truly understand what my parents had put me through. Then I thought...at least my parent didn't send me to th...

The last 12 months of my life have been ridiculously overwhelming in every single way possible. I have had 4 mailing addresses in less than 6 months and that alone almost took everything out of me. I even lost friends who promised they’d always be there. So how am I supposed to categorize this year? Should it be the year from hell? Although at times I have called it that, NO! This is “The Defining Year.” God used a year of tragedy for triumph . Everything that was meant for evil was used for my good. In celebration of my 25th birthday I have recorded 25 things that 2014 taught me . 25. Self reliance is the key to a full life. 24. Nothing is ever REALLY THAT BAD. 23. Let time decide the role others play in your life. 22. When in doubt, where pants. Length matters. 21. Be honest with yourself. 20. Love is honest. Lust lies. If it’s real love, honesty comes with it. 19. God gives you everything you need to succeed. He won’t send you where he hasn’t already made ...

In the last two weeks I have been challenged to modify my attire. As I venture on this new journey in life which has me spending a lot of my time with young girls, I have a new responsibility. It’s no longer just about me about what I want to wear. Actually, nothing that I do now is about me. It’s about glorifying God. So….modesty…. Listen, I am so over this argument that modesty is for women only! It’s partially why I rebelled against being modest. It wasn’t until I was recently confronted by a friend on why I felt "showing a little extra skin made me more attractive" that I started to question the truth about modesty. After reading articles and looking up passages I finally asked one of my best friends, who happens to be on my list of the top 3 smartest people I know. Modesty is about not intentionally drawing attention to yourself. That spoke numbers to me. It was simple. It was easy. She made other interesting comments but this was all I needed. It wasn't j...

In the last month the most important thing I have learned is, “honesty is the best policy.” Sure, we are all taught this as children but do we really know what that means? Because I am famous for someone asking if I’m okay and saying yes even if I feel like a train wreck. However, there is an easier route. Example: Friend: Hey Shawntika. Are you okay? You look like something is bothering you. Me: I’m not okay but I’ll be fine. EASY! But no. I normally go the other route. I hold it in hoping that no one will notice but for some reason, expecting that everyone will know. Yea. Like I said. Train wreck. Fortunately, this last month I was challenged to be “rigorously honest” with myself and those around me. Now, there is a thin line between honesty and telling all of your business. I refuse to succumb to the latter. Yet being honest has liberated me. It's also been hard. I have begun to share parts of myself with those closest to me which has left me completely e...

“Love is wanting the absolute best for someone even if it doesn't benefit you.” -Shawntika White For most of my life I have been surrounded by hurting people. I mean, truly bitter people. People who have been so hurt that they've only been capable of hurting others. Somewhere along the line I became a mirror of them. I've never been in any type of relationship with anyone that was generally and genuinely happy. That is until recently. I’m not sure what changed but somewhere along the line God began placing joyful people around me and I began to want what they had. So I did research. I read books, took notes, and finally sat down to put it all together in as few words as possible. I've allowed my experience to overshadow God’s purpose for humanity. We were created with fellowship in mind. Fellowship with God and with one another. The hurt and pain that others had inflicted on me caused me to interpret love negatively. Well, my interpretation was filled with ...

“Either be angry for what you don’t have, or thankful for what you do have.” -Nick Vujicic I woke up today complaining! It was terrible. I was crying while I was getting dressed and even while driving to work. I had some great things to complain about too. My parents are being...normal, I've had two friends basically cut me off in one week, and I've been sick for weeks. As I’m scrolling through my Facebook timeline I see a video from Oprah’s “Life Class.” Nick Vujicic , born and raised in Australia with no arms or legs. All I could say was, “Wow.” He was there to represent Faith in Action . Throughout his childhood Vujicic was teased and attempted to commit suicide. Later, he read an article about a handicapped man who refused to let the hand he’d been dealt in life hold him back. So.............(the period were necessary for dramatic effect).............. ... WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?! How much more ridiculous could I get? The thing is, everything I am hurt about...